


Enough For You

by Jenksjinx



Series: We Sail Together [2]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, R Plus L Equals J
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2019-05-20 07:33:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14890271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jenksjinx/pseuds/Jenksjinx
Summary: Part Deux of Was I Dreaming from Daenerys’ perspective.Daenerys opens up to Jon about her hesitations.





	Enough For You

“It’s important that Lord Snow renounce his title once we arrive in —“

“Leave us,” Daenerys said distractedly as she cut Tyrion off mid-sentence. She assumed her council was already aware of which ‘us’ she was referring to after Tyrion’s ambush that morning.

“Your Grace,” Tyrion began firmly as he walked closer to her.

“My lord,” Daenerys said looking at her advisor directly in the eyes, jaw firm, hands pressed against the wooden table lined with maps and scrolls.

Tyrion averted his gaze and looked down to his feet as if he needed to say something in that moment or everything they’ve worked for would be gone in an instant. But Daenerys wouldn’t let that happen.

“I won’t do nothing again,” she restated quietly so that only he could hear her. He shifted his eyes back up to meet hers and nodded in defeat. He followed Grey Worm, Missandei, Davos and Varys out of the council chambers and shut the door behind him.

She looked at him then for the first time since he’d left her cabin. She’d wanted to be happy, to throw herself in his arms and tell him that she felt the same but reality wouldn’t let her. The threat beyond the wall, her responsibilities to her people, her barrenness. All of the things weighing on her and warning her against becoming attached to this good man.

He hadn’t moved or spoken yet, but his body seemed as if it would betray him. His face was slack, his eyes upon her, mouth parted ready to speak. She walked over to the window and stared at the horizon looking at memories long past.

“Do you remember when we were in the Dragon Pit? What I told you?” She began slowly allowing her voice to awaken the silence.

“Aye. I do.”

“Before Drogo died,” she said as he clenched his fists at the mention of her deceased husband. She had told him the story of how she gained the title of ‘Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea’ late one evening on the ramparts of Dragonstone. “Everything seemed perfect, fated. I had my husband, my son Rhaego was stirring within me.” A shadow of a smile appeared at the corner of her lips.

“He was going to be the _Vezh fin saja rhaesheseres_ , the Stallion that Mounts the World. My love for him was more love than I had ever received, more love than I have given since. And he was taken from me.” Her smile faded as she turned back towards him. He had come around the table slowly, standing within an arms reach, ready to catch her should she fall.

“I forgot who I was for a while, I had given up on fate and faith. My people trusted me to lead them and I failed for so long that I felt that I had nothing left. So I sat upon my husband’s pyre, and surrounded myself with the flames,” she said contemplatively. “But when the flames died, not only was I still alive but I had three dragons at my breast. I think perhaps I was reborn that night. That it became my destiny, my duty to protect them, my people. Guide them into my new world, ensuring that they had the things that I would never have myself.”

“It seems we have that in common,” Jon replied.

“Duty to our people,” She said matter-of-factly.

“Something like that,” he said with a reluctant smile that made him seem younger.

“We protect people, Jon Snow, we’ve given ourselves freely to this life. And while I knew, as well as you, what would happen between us when I made the decision to come on this boat,” she said holding his gaze and steeling her determination, “it cannot go farther than it already has.”

“Is it really that easy for you to turn your feelings off,” Jon asked angrily, his voice louder than she’d ever heard him speak. “I don’t believe so, because if that’s true then why are you here on this boat with me? Why did you allow me in your bed last night? You could’ve just as easily spared us this conversation had you told me how you felt after I knocked on your door?”

He was right, she could’ve but there he was at her doorstep chest pounding, eyes dilated, body tense with wanton desire. If she had resigned herself to a platonic relationship with the brooding King in the North this gesture had ceded her resolve.

“Don’t you see, we are days from meeting with the Northern Lords and the King in the North, the king they chose, will be swearing fealty to my throne. I cannot be who they expect, the foreign whore come to seduce their king and purloin their kingdom,” Daenerys seethed. “If you arrive besotted while having bent the knee there’s no reason for them to believe any different. No. We have too much ahead of us and we can’t afford to be fractured.”

“That sounds more like Tyrion than you,” He said with disdain in his voice.

“This is bigger than you and I and our feelings,” she said loudly, irritated that he would presume her decisions aren’t her own, “this is the life and death of millions of our people. And I can’t worry about the next reckless thing that you’ll do or ask you to set aside your duty so you’ll come back to me. That —” she stated despondently as she stumbled on her words remembering his near lifeless body being tended to on her boat, “that I won’t be able to save those people because I am trying to save you.”

“And you think I don’t worry when you fly off on Drogon. That I don’t want you to be as far away as possible when the Night King comes for us? I can’t predict the future Dany,” he said exasperatedly, “but I do plan on surviving this war and I have a reason to survive standing right in front of me.”

Daenerys thought about his words and a tear formed in her eye. “And what happens should we defeat the Night King and his army?”

“When that day comes, I will swear an oath to you. Whatever oath you will accept.” He slipped his hands around her waist, pulled her close, and tilted her chin so he could see her eyes. “I will lay down my sword if you ask it, I haven’t a name or I’d give it to you.”

“Jon,” she said quietly, a tear falling down her cheek. For just a moment she considered how easy it would be just to say those words, to tell him how she felt so they could live whatever time they had left together. But she pulled herself out of his arms and turned her back to him not ready to take away the one thing she couldn’t give him.

“Daenerys, don’t do that, don’t run away from me,” he said grabbing her hand.

She looked at their hands entwined and let the tears fall. “You deserve more than a warm bed and a willing lover.” _You deserve a babe with black curls and gray eyes_ , she thought.

He turned her to face him. “Dammit Daenerys, I want more than a lover. I want a wife, I want you. I’ll say it here, I’ll say it in front of the lords in Winterfell, I’ll say it in front of the gods if you’ll have me. Just say it once. I swear it, it won’t cause you pain. Just say how you feel.”

“I’m afraid,” she cried out. “I’m afraid I won’t be enough. I’m afraid that the threat of death will make you forget the endless possibilities of a full life and that you’ll risk the promise of an heir, an heir I can’t give you. I’m afraid that if I yield to our affections and we defeat this - monster - you’ll realize what you’ve foresworn and regret any vow you’ve given to me.”

He smiled at her then, an honest smile. “Daenerys, you’re already more than what I’ve ever thought I’d have in this life. More than I deserve. Just say it and I will show you that you are enough.” He stared into to her eyes willing the words to come.

She placed her hand on his cheek stroking the coarse hairs lining his face. She remembered the roughness from the previous night and how it had scratched her lips and her breasts and between her thighs. She quivered at the thought and slowly brought herself closer to him and brushed his lips with hers. She closed her eyes and kissed him deeply forgetting all of the reasons she fought against him. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly as if she would disappear. After what seemed like eternity she broke their kiss and looked from his reddened lips to his deep gray eyes. His stare drew her in and she felt like she was falling and she knew her only life line was the words that were coming rapidly closer to her lips.

“I love you, Jon Snow.” She said as her mind stopped fighting her heart and they crashed head first into each other. Whatever fears she had, they would fight them together.


End file.
